What does the benefit of the doubt mean to you?
I wrote yesterday that optimizing my life for giving people the benefit of the doubt would “make everything else easier.”
Today brought a lesson on clarity.
I read this from Jonathan Alger on the danger of using “fuzzy” words.
I got a reply to my email saying, “Amen. There is such a brutal cost to myself when I suspect everyone of everything.” (Yes! Exactly this.)
And another – from my good friend, Mai-kee Tsang, who helps sensitive souls (like me) show up in the world safely – saying, “I agree 99% 🙏 The 1% is not giving benefit of the doubt to potentially dangerous people IRL. “
Which interpretation I hadn’t considered but wish I had.
To clarify: I didn’t mean to trust people who haven’t earned our trust.
I meant to start by assuming the best.
Or, more specifically, to not start by assuming the worst.
Act as if that person’s driving slowly because they’re taking their newborn baby home from the hospital.
Act as if my kid’s trying to get my attention (again) just to say, “I love you.”
Act as if that client didn’t get back to me on time because someone they love needed their help immediately.
That’s what I mean by giving people the benefit of the doubt.
I’ll end with the brilliant rest of that first reply: “And even if everyone is out to get me, living like they are has never brought me happiness.”
Less fuzzy,
James
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