Rant alert!
Apologies. The mere fact that you’re reading this makes it quite likely you feel the same way. I hope you won’t mind me getting this out.
It’s about communication.
When you’re communicating with people – in your family, in your community, in your business – there’s always a back and forth, a give and take.
And the way I see it, effective communication occurs when that give and take is balanced. If you ask a question, they answer. If they say something nice or pleasant, you acknowledge it with thanks (and, if it makes sense, reciprocate). And so on.
Communication breakdown happens when that balance is absent or lost.
You ask, and they don’t answer. They say congrats on that new promotion, and you just breeze past it into your next point.
There’s this whole thing where, when talking in real-time, people sometimes spend their “not-talking” time thinking about what to say next instead of hearing what the other person is saying. I’m sure you’ve experienced it. It’s maddening.
(And I’m not saying that I don’t do it myself, sometimes, or have never done it, to be clear. Once you’re “in your head,” it can be hard to get out, to become present.)
But when that happens in an email conversation…I just don’t know where to start.
If your email has three questions, and their response has answers to only two of them – with absolutely no mention of the third – what are you supposed to think?
It’s unthinkable. We have to answer all the questions.
End rant,
James
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